There are two arguments often levelled against allowing gay marriage, and in this blog-post-cum-essay I plan on explaining why I think they're both utterly invalid. I shall endeavour to do this in as reasonable and logical a way as possible, but will unashamedly admit that I believe marriage is a fundamental social right to anybody regardless of gender.
Some quick context: there have been lively debates recently over the role of the Church of England in government and policy making. The C of E recently voted against allowing women bishops. The reason why this is so relevant to British politics is that the C of E places 26 bishops in the House of Lords; giving the Church an active role in Westminster and allowing them to influence official policy. This is not an argument for secularist politics - although politics really ought to be secular - but I will talk about religion.
Recently, the UK's coalition government have been discussing and proposing a same-sex marriage bill. It's been pretty bloody controversial and UKIP leader Nigel Farage has even said it may "rip apart the Conservative party". The bill outlined on Tuesday would legalise same-sex marriages but would also protect religious institutions that disagree. All sounds fair, right? The problem is twofold: allow religions discriminate is not fair, and there's a bunch of people who disagree with legalising it in the first place.
We must first touch on the Religious Argument. I was discussing my anger about the 120 or so MPs who will vote "No" with my Dad. He said that he understood why I thought they were wrong but that people have the right to their religion.
The thing is, the argument is utterly invalid. The Bible forbids same-sex relationships, but there are plenty of gay vicars. The Bible also states a bunch of other stuff that makes absolutely no sense in the context of a contemporary, liberal Britain.
If somebody says to me "I forbid gay marriages because my religion tells me to be against homosexuality" all I can possibly read that as is "I discriminate because my religion tells me to". Nothing more, nothing less. Now, this wouldn't be so much of an issue if nobody listened to it and exceptions weren't being made in law.
The problem is, exceptions are being made in law. And this undermines the entire purpose of legislating for equality.
Let's give a different example. I'm interviewing two candidates for a role at my company. One is black, the other is white. I choose the caucasian candidate because he's caucasian and dismiss the black candidate because of his ethnic background.
This is very, very illegal, not to mention immoral (but we'll leave morality out of this for the time being). I'd get arrested and publicly denounced pretty quickly. It's firmly against the law to discriminate in this way. So why should a religious body have the right to discriminate too?
Religious freedom is not an argument. The right to free exercise of religion must never be the right to discriminate on religious grounds. Religion should never be a way to justify bigotry.
The second argument is a civil one; that a marriage is a bond between a man and a woman, solely for procreation. We could step back to the origins of marriage, way before the institution of the Church, or even to religious bonds within the Judaism of a pre-Christianity world, but I won't.
There are those in the world that don't get married and have children nonetheless. There are those who get married, have children and have a divorce. I was raised by a single mother and am very proud of that fact. There is no evidence to suggest that children grow up to be "better" (however you define that) by heterosexual couples rather than homosexuals or, indeed, single parents. There is no evidence that lacking a mother or father figure does anybody any damage.
You see, people seem to ignorantly conflate the ideas of a marriage and of a home.
If you come from a loving home, the masters of the house have utterly no relevance. Whoever pays the mortgage doesn't matter. It's about the care and nurturing and love you receive when growing up. Sure, this manifests itself differently across genders, but so it does too across races, ethnic backgrounds, regions and indeed individuals.
There are heterosexual couples that are appalling parents. Why should a loving, genuine, honest family led by two men or two women be denied the same rights as a dismissive, cruel, ignorant heterosexual couple?
Somebody said to me today "you can't just wipe out thousands of years of institution". In this case, I cannot imagine a more flawed premise.
What will happen if gay people have the right to marry?
Oh yeah. Gay people will get married.
Heterosexuals won't wake up lusting after cock or vagina. The courts won't be inundated with divorce requests as the men ride off to San Francisco waving pride flags and fucking each other while the women rush out to spend their entire lives' savings on dildos and lesbian porn.
The world won't become corrupted. Children won't suddenly be indoctrinated to think that heterosexuality is a bad thing. No.
All that will happen is we will get a little closer to a society that doesn't give a shit what gender you prefer. We will get a little closer to a society where two consenting adults who adore each other get an equal chance to express that adoration. We will get a little closer to a society that teaches it's okay to be who you are.
I am so proud of my mother, because the most important thing she ever taught me was that it doesn't matter who you are or where you come from or what you look like. All that matters is how you treat others.
I've never been brilliant at being tempered or reasonable. I have moments of anger and jealousy and sadness like everyone else. But reading all the articles and opinion pieces about this bill have made me realise that it's only right to let people live their lives happily without discrimination or persecution.
This law does not alter the fabric of society or undermine what it means to be in a loving, caring relationship. It isn't trying to change society; it's simply recognising a society that changed a long time ago.
So for fuck's sake. Let gay people get married.
Thursday, May 16, 2013 at 11:51AM 